My new mantra is if it doesn't

1. make me money
2. make me skinnier
3. make me smile OR
4. make my kids happier

Then I'm NOT doing it.  Period, amen.

All the reasons my new job is better than the last one:

• I get to be around kids.  Sick kids, yes, but kids nevertheless.
• The facility is colorful and bright unlike the drab grey/white halls of Research.
• Everything is clean.  There are no humongous cockroaches laying in the hall like RMC
• They use Cerner.  No more Meditech, which makes NO sense
• Everyone smiles.  Of course, I haven't met my preceptors yet but I have no reason to believe that they will be as awful as, say, Pat Taylor or Melissa Moore.....two of the most hateful nurses in the industry, I think.
• No more disgusting smelling rooms or placenta buckets
• Parking is better:  you either park off site which allows you to ride a warm shuttle with great music and come in at the same time everyone else does or you get to park in the garage on the Yellow Submarine level.  No urine smells in the parking garage; no constant fear of being jumped
• I'm not embarrassed to say where I work
• No more coming around the corner by Sheryl's office only to have everyone at the nursing station either ignore you or stare at you
• No more unprofessional doctors like Nagy
• No more of those annoyingly huge phones to carry around with you
• No more hunting down Sheryl to get my schedule.  In fact, I get to self schedule.
• If you have to sit by yourself at break in the cafeteria, at least there is stuff to look at.
• No more blocking of Facebook and the Internet
• No more paper charts.....only electronic documentation.
• We get to wear whatever kinds of scrubs we want and are even encouraged to wear kid friendly stuff
• Magnet status.....impressive!
• No more Dana, Andrea, and Eva who ended up not being my friends at all
• No more feeling slighted by not having a consistent preceptor
• I don't have to take ACLS, which is HARD and it's taught by that insufferable Lori Ricke
• Enough computers to get charting done.  No more standing around either because there are not enough chairs.  You get to sit down at my new job.
• No more broken equipment
• Career ladders are spelled out and explained
• We have care assistants!  Awesome.
• Staffing ratios are not an issue, I don't think.
• The Scope is way easier to use than whatever that thing that RMC used was
• I don't have to worry about running into people I don't like
• No more dirty utility room nightmares (no more need be said on this topic)
• No more nurses with gold teeth, tattoos all over and skull caps
• We can actually drink water at my new job instead of walking around dehydrated
• I never have to see the inside of an OR again unless I want to....which I won't.
• Beautiful views outside of the window
• People have good feelings about their care unlike RMC
• Room service for the patients....what they want, when they want it.  Excellent concept!
• No more having my manager look right through me.
• Having the proper resources to do my job to the best of my ability
• My ID number is my lucky number
• My hire date coincides with my hire date at United.  A numberology person would have a hey day with these two things.
• No more 90 year old nurses with bursitis and bad attitudes. (Peggy, Carol, Bessie, Juanita, Christie, Phyllis, Pat, Kim)
• No more lazy eye from you know who
• No more Graduate Nurse Residency Program
• No more fetal monitoring strips, Toco, Ultrasound of bellies, Pitocin (which turns normal people into angry monsters), Mag Sulfate, vaginal exams that I have no idea what I'm feeling for

I'll think of more and add them as I do but for now, I think it's apparent I'm in a better place.

This picture doesn't even do it justice.  It's now the cutest sink EVER!  Rich rose to the challenge....with my input.

Thank you for:

• killing the twins on Breaking Bad.  They were too stressful for me!
• letting me walk all the way around Loose Park, even though I had to sit down by the duck pond because I was out of breath
• giving me the courage to email four more Cerner contacts.  Surely one of them will respond!
• being open to holding a dog.  It was scary but he was cute, that's for sure.
• going ahead and getting a sandwich for Rich.  I was a little apprehensive about spending the money but I knew he was in a really bad mood and that it would make him happy to have a sandwich waiting for him when he got home from the club.
• finally laying Tyler to rest.  Maybe now the school can return to normalcy; the kids need it.
• having heart to hearts with Max.  I sure hate to see him so down but I want to make sure he knows he's loved very much and I want him to be happy.
• "plumbing" that works like normal1

Stents are out!!!

Sometimes you have to search for what you're grateful for.  Being as this was a SICK day for me and I was hurting and worried that tomorrow may not solve this issue, I have to dig deep tonight to find my thank yous.  But here goes:

• Even though I had to spend a lot of time in the bathroom, I was really glad that I have an awesome book to keep me company.  (The Kite Runner)
• I'm so grateful that no one was in the garage when the spring popped on our garage door opener.  Everyone was safe and sound inside.
• It was a struggle but I did manage to get a pretty good start on laundry.
• Even though I did get a phone call from the principal at East regarding another tussle that Tucker had with Ms. McPhee, he didn't keep me on the phone long and when I mentioned it to Tucker, he assured me it wouldn't happen again.
• I'm still thankful for pain meds!!
• I'm glad that I finally am catching up on back episodes of Breaking Bad so I'm not in the dark when my guys talk about it.
• So happy that Rich took Tucker shopping for jeans....he needed them badly and I just haven't felt up to it.

Thank you for:

• Finally hearing when surgery is scheduled.  It really helps to know there's an end in sight for getting these stents out.
• Sticking with "The Kite Runner" even though your initial reaction was not to read fiction about young boys.
• Getting a nice voice mail from Andrea, who showed her concern regarding my surgeries and overall health
• Getting a pretty decent response from Rich and Tucker about the puppy
• Having Jill tell me that she has a puppy and will only charge $350
• The offer from Rich to take Tucker to Mr. Paris' house for tutoring since I didn't feel good
• Getting a phone call from my dad, who totally understood that I didn't feel well enough to chat
• Keeping my composure and not telling Dianna off when she made a public post on Facebook insulting United Airlines